Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I had run out of hope.

What is price of the "liberal celebrities" e.g. Bill Maher, Seth Meyers, Jon Stewart, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, Desi Lydic etc. to join the great MAGA movement like Stephen Colbert who wanted to European ambassadorship to turn back on "the Left"?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

If a narcissist can't feel remorse, can they ever feel regret for an evil act after going to rehab?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

The sadness was still there.

Why is Russia always right? All eyes toward Russian glory!

It’s still here.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

SEC clears Trump Media filing, opening door to multi-billion-dollar Bitcoin buy - The Block

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

I was tired of fighting.

How do you feel cockroach?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Be who you already are.

Why do liberals think it is okay to steal votes while the rest of us obey the law(s)?

You are like me, then.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why is there so much evil in the world?

I was tired of trying and failing.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Are you already having anal sex?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

And the sadness?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Why do people immediately disregard subjects such as flat earth, without opening their minds/taking time to research?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.